Father's Day

I wish Jim a Happy Father's Day. It's funny, he doesn't like the holiday. He says that being a good father should be normal and that every day is Father's Day.


I have asked him how he became a good Father. He said he didn't know what to do, he had no example, he said he knew what not to do from the examples he had.

I have watched him over the years. From the very first day he became a father, the day Nicole was born. He held her, changed her diaper and asked, why he had to go home alone? I may have needed to stay in the hospital, but there was nothing wrong with Nicole, couldn't he take her home with him. He didn't want to be without her. (The breastfeeding put a crimp in his plans)

I remember when Jake was born, he literally jumped into the air with excitement. All of the children hold a place in his heart that words cannot describe. They are all so different and his relationships with them likewise different.

He tells the story often, the kids make fun of him, but it shows how they hold him captive with his love for them, of Niki, then 4 or 5, helping him to build a deck. She handed him the nails one at a time. Not sure how much extra time it took him to build that deck, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

Him calling me from work with pride that another one of his co-workers called him to tell him how Natalie was dancing on the front lawn waving at cars going by as if she were Princess Diana, she was about 7.

Jacob approaching Jim crying, when he was about 8. What's wrong? I broke the toilet. What did you do? I was playing with the flush lever and it broke off. Hmm, well what do you think you should do? Jake said, punish me. Hmm, how about you help me fix what you broke. Jake was sent to the basement to get another flush lever and tools and Jim took him into the bathroom and the two of them fixed the toilet.

After Jim's back surgery, he had a hospital bed so I didn't bang into him sleeping. Nathan was the only one who could carefully crawl up onto the bed, lay still next to him without hurting him and they would watch tv together and take naps together.

Jim has chased away bad boyfriends, picked up hungover daughters from college, carried his sons into the OR when they needed surgery choking bad tears as he turned over his boys to a room full of strangers in masks and gowns so the boys would have a familiar face with them until they were anestethised so they wouldn't be afraid. He has done all the teenage driving lessons, has gone to school meetings in defense of them and on those occasions when they actually did do wrong, stood by them when they received their consequences. He has signed poor work slips and covered for detentions (yes Jim I know about them), he has performed medic duties and nursing care. I have seen him lift sleeping kids who have grown so much it's hard to lift them and carry them upstairs and tuck them into bed. I have watched him "ground" one of the beasty children, only to look at me realizing there is a "big dance" or event and allow them to go and tell them, your grounding will go into affect AFTER the event. (We wouldn't want the punishment to interfere with them having fun now would we?)

He claims to be full, when he sees one of the kids eyeing the last piece of cake or goodie, he has bought tampons, pads and paid for countless prom and wintercarnival dresses. (He did ask once, after buying a gown for winter carnival, why the girls couldn't just use that gown for Prom three months later, he's a good Dad, but he's stilll such a guy!)

He guides our children, loves them, and would do anything for them. He encourages them, doesn't shoot down their ideas, but encourages them to pursue them, he even does that for ME.

Jim talks, theorizes, and disects conversations and situations, the kids when they were little would say, Dad can't you just spank us like other Father's do. hehe.. nope... let's talk about this.

We all have issues, and Jim owns his unlike most of us. One of the kids recently did something wrong, and Jim talked about mistakes he has made growing up and in life and while discussing the "wrong", talked about how EVERYONE makes mistakes and how mistakes can be overcome and no one mistake should define you. He has told everyone of the kids that erasers are on pencils because mistakes are made. It's what you do after them that defines you.

Happy Father's Day Jim, I know there were only a few things you wanted to accomplish in life, you wanted to be a Good Father and a Good Husband. You are a successful man in all aspects.

Thank you for being both.... I unlike you think being a Good Dad should be celebrated!



Jan